Sunrise Reflections

Posted on by 2000nana
Photo by ROMAN ODINTSOV on Pexels.com

    I saw the sun rise this morning.  First there was a bit of a glow and then a glimmer of red. Soon the red grew brighter and melded with the intense yellow almost like a fire leaping and dancing with joy to greet the day. As the fire danced, my lips began to twitch and soon I was smiling and dancing in my heart right along with the sun. Beautiful!

    I must confess to you that although it truly was beautiful, I was really looking at a reflection of the sun on my windows. The fire and beauty was so great that the windows reflected that to me. 

    In a way, we are called to be like my windows. Looking toward Jesus, the Son.  Letting the love of God burn brightly in our heart and soul. Letting the Holy Spirit guide our every word and action until others see the fire of joy and love leaping and dancing within us. 

    In Psalm 16, David praises God and says 

         “You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Psalms 16:11 NKJV

https://bible.com/bible/114/psa.16.11.NKJV.

God thank You for the gift of Salvation through Your Son Jesus. And please let me reflect the joy of my salvation to others. Let me be so on fire for Jesus that the joy within me leaps and dances, shining through even when adversity comes, so others want to know why I have this joy so they know where to find it for themselves. Please help me to be a window, not a wall or an obstacle in their path. In the name of Your Son Jesus I ask. Amen.

God’s Surge Protector

Posted on by 2000nana

It has been quite a while since I wrote anything here. I wanted to write but I just…well I just couldn’t. It wasn’t writers block because I’ve written plenty of things in my head. No, it was more than that. It was a valley so slippery I couldn’t seem to come out of it. I tried to scale to the top of the mountain but I kept hitting a slippery slope and crashed back to where I started. The valley wasn’t even that deep and I know others had a much deeper valley. It was just that I wasn’t expecting this valley.

Now that I have said all that I must tell you that none of it is what I sat down to write. I really am going to write about surge protectors but it seems like my fingers had a mind of their own. Maybe I needed to write that first paragraph for me. Warning, this post may be a bit long but I sincerely hope you will read it.

The last three years have taught me a lot about myself and most of it I don’t like. I’ve learned that no matter how humble you honestly think you are, there are often more layers to be peeled that can take you to to a place where raw has new meaning. I’ve learned that curves in the road are often accompanied by rocks and I hate stubbing my toe. And I have learned that no matter how you think you will react to a situation you don’t really know until you get there.

Early in 2020 my sweet hubby was diagnosed with dementia. This particular type of dementia does have some treatment options but he refused them all. I found myself in the role of wife and caregiver. More about that another day. Today I need to get this out while I can.

As time went by and the situation with my hubby worsened I found myself reacting rather than responding. Other health issues were added to the dementia and there were days I had to decide which hat to wear…loving wife or firm caregiver. God was definitely with me, but I soon realized I could hardly recognize the person I had become. I was tired, hurting and had no patience left. I had used it all up and you can’t just order it online to be delivered, not even from Amazon. Superwife extraordinaire was no longer recognizable. I could go from zero to screech faster than I ever dreamed!

Now to the surge protector part. It happened like this: I was in the kitchen trying to cook dinner. We call it supper around here but anyway…I can’t tell you how many trips I made to the den to answer hubby’s call. My fingers were so fumbly I was dropping everything. And my phone was almost out of power. No big deal except I was expecting a call from the nurse or therapist about the schedule for the week. I tried to plug the cord in to the surge protector and, you guessed it, I dropped the whole thing. Now if you are reading my blog for the first time, let me explain that God often teaches me lessons through ordinary things.

So to get back to my story, I dropped the surge protector when the lesson hit me right between the eyes. Almost literally if you know what I mean. I was about to lose my fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience,goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control because I hadn’t plugged into my heavenly surge protector.

Two things before I go on. The difference between a power strip and a surge protector is that a surge protector doesn’t just deliver the power but also contains a thingamajig inside that protects whatever is plugged in from an unexpected surge of too much power that can damage whatever is plugged in. The second thing it is important to note is that we serve a triune God…3 cords working together as one, so to speak. God and Jesus I call on daily, but I was neglecting maintaining a relationship with the third cord, the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit acts as a surge protector to protect me from the unexpected such as the surge of tiredness, the surge of frustration or as satan likes to throw at me, the surge of feeling a failure. These are all things that can overload and cause damage to me if I don’t have a surge protector. The gentle (and sometimes not so gentle because I can be thick headed) nudges that say, “Susan, back up and take a deep breath.” come from the Holy Spirit. But you must stay plugged in to hear them.

To finally come to a close, let me say I plan on digging deeper into the scriptures this year to learn more about the fruits of the Spirit. I’m trying to connect with the Holy Spirit so I can better hear and feel those nudges. And when those everyday surges come, and believe me they will, I plan to depend on the Holy Spirit to guide me and do damage control. I hope you will join me.

When am I Enough?

Posted on by 2000nana

A year or so ago, Lauren Daigle, in her song You Say  got my attention in a big way.  I was driving down the road, and her song came on the radio.  It was the first time I heard her song, but definitely not the last.  The opening line had me from the first moment.  “I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough”.  Yes, that definitely is me.  The world went by without me as I listened to her song, and I hope you will give it a listen at the link below.

You see, I am all about helping.  I am all about serving God through serving others.  Hubby once said I would serve our Thanksgiving dinner to someone in need and serve my family peanut butter, to which I thought…I don’t see the problem here.  My joy comes from serving others.  I will even do their DISHES cheerfully.

It is great to serve God by serving others.  However, there is one big flaw in my serving, and Lauren nailed it.  I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I am not enough.  Everyone else is enough.  Everyone else is worthy.  But in my mind, I was not worthy. I was not enough.

I probably didn’t phrase things that way in my mind.  It took a while to identify the problem.  My sweet mother taught us well to always put others before ourselves.  Maybe she taught us a bit too well, or maybe I was just an enthusiastic learner, but my siblings and I really took that to heart.  Eventually it seemed everywhere I turned I was hearing “love your neighbor as yourself over and over.  That is found in Mark 22:37-39.  Um, excuse me but this is a problem.  I can agree with Luke 6:31 and treat others how I want to be treated.  I want to be treated nicely just like the next person.  But Mark tells us to LOVE our neighbors as ourselves. Ha!  I can love my neighbors easily, but myself, no!  No way.  I could stand up in front of a crowd of ladies and tell them how special, how worthy they are because of God’s love.  I could pray with fervency and assurance that someone’s need should be met, but not mine.  Now don’t get me wrong, it isn’t that I felt I had no worth at all, but that everyone else that ever has been or ever will be has more worth than me.

My inner struggle became more intense but now I am moving in a positive direction.  Here are some thoughts that help me on my journey.

  1.  Pray pray pray.  Get basic.  Lord, I know that You want me to love my neighbor as myself.  That means I have to love me.  But I am just me Lord, nobody special. Help me to see that to You, I am worthy of Your love.  I am  enough.  Help me to realize there is a great difference between prideful self love, and the love of myself…a person created and loved by God.  Fill me with Your love, and flood my heart with joy. Thank You Lord for creating me. Amen
  2. Open up to someone who can pray with you.  Be real and raw and tell them your struggle.   First they will probably say, Awww, you know God loves you.  You are a great person.  Don’t let them stop there. Remind them the struggle very real and you need their help.  It is good to enlist the help of a prayer warrior.
  3. Check out what God says about this.  Here are a few scriptures to get you started:  Psalms 139:13-15, Jeremiah 1:5, 1 John 3:1, Ephesians 2:10 (this is as biggy.  Wow, God LOVES us.  He created us!  Dare I say one of God’s creations is not enough? No way.)

What I am saying is, I am learning I am enough.  I am worthy of loving myself because He created me.  He formed me in my mother’s womb.  He knows each little tiny piece that makes up…ME.  And He still loves me.  And because He loves me, I can love myself.  And if I love myself, then I can really love others.

I know you have to come to your own realization of His great love for you, and why, because we love what (who) He loves we are able to love ourselves.  But here is just one more thought before I stop.

In the books of Matthew and Luke, we are given the parable of the lost sheep.  The shepherd (Jesus) left 99 sheep in the fold so he (Jesus) could look for the one (me) who was lost.  Now I know Jesus left the flock to SAVE me.  Almost everybody knows that whether they accept it or not.  But what I want you to think about is WHY.  Why did He leave the flock? Because He loves us.  Why did He bother with one more sheep when He still had 99?   Because He wants us to live a deep Christlike life, WHY should He even care?  Because even though when we compare ourselves to the 99, we feel we don’t measure up, He feels differently.  He feels I am enough.  He feels YOU are enough.

These Changing Times: Covid-19 101

Posted on by 2000nana

Right now we are in such a whirlwind of emotions.  We are seeing something we haven’t seen before.  Any pandemic is difficult, but this Corvid-19 virus is invisible, silent and sneaky.  Two (people) can be standing, and one taken and the other not.  Sometimes the strong are weakened and the feeble survive.  We don’t understand the how and the why and the when will all this be over.  I intentionally waited weeks and weeks before posting while many bloggers were posting weekly and sometimes daily.  I needed to wait until God nudged me to write…and a few minutes ago, He did. Some of my word will be very serious.  Some may be funny.  I pray it will be uplifting, and all the words come from my heart.  And if it is too lengthy, I’m sorry.  Somehow I was wired to tell you several ways to make a clock if you ask what time it is.  Maybe you can read bits at a time and share your thoughts as a comment.

Today I am sitting here looking out my window as a severe storm rolls in.  I hear the thunder.  I see the sky growing ever darker.  The rain just started…a real downpour with the wind whipping the bushes and trees.  Rusty likes to look outside, so I go to the door and open it so he can look through the screen door.  As I swing the door wide, I see a splash of red…a cardinal hurrying to perch in a nearby tree.  Bright color that chases away some of the gloominess.

We have two sons, each living 30 minutes away.  But we are sheltering in place as the Governor has asked.  Our two boys are making sure to check on us and see that we get what we need.   One is out of state, and we can’t cross state boundaries right now. Both boys (grown men of course, but still…)  have families to support and protect.  Hubby and I decided the best thing we can do to help is to do what we are supposed to do.

Hearing my kids say I need to listen and do what I am supposed to do didn’t give me a warm fuzzy.  I wanted to say “I am the mom here!” but before I could they reminded me that although we are the parents, it causes them more worry when we don’t “listen” and follow best practices.  And they want to show their love.  They are right.  Don’t ask me to repeat that because once should do right now.  I can’t stand to know my kids are worrying, so I can do my part by not doing anything to cause them worry.

Sometimes being at home with your family is something you only dream of having time for.  Now many of us have this time whether we want it or not.  Perversely we want the time, but we want to be in control of when that time happens.  I can tell you that even though I didn’t spend a lot of time “on the roads” as my hubby likes to say, lack of deadlines is pleasant.  But to be brutally honest, there are times I have mentally packed my bag to move to Iceland.  And I don’t even like extreme cold anymore.

I realized the other day that I hadn’t prettied myself up for several days. STOP LAUGHING those of you that know me well.  My point is, while we now have a bit more time to relax. that doesn’t mean we let go of all our standards. So get up, pretty up, and enjoy a dress for dinner night.

One of the biggest changes I see for many of us is church.  It is hard to not see our brothers and sisters in the Lord.  But most of us have the technology to participate in an online or televised church service.  How cool!  I can now listen to a number of ministers in our family.  One word of caution: Relaxed doesn’t mean we let go of all our standards.  (Didn’t I just hear that somewhere?) It is still ok to dress for church.  You don’t have to do so of course, but sometimes that makes you feel a bit more like you are at church.  And please, you don’t need to do the crossword puzzle or have a conversation about the cat during the sermon.  Respect is respect.  Just my humble opinion.

  1.  Take this seriously, but don’t panic.  Don’t make this a panicdemic.  When we panic, we tend to be ineffective.  Take time to breathe.  Do the healthy habits we should be doing anyway…washing hands, keeping hands away from your face, cough in your sleeve.  Do not buy 100 rolls of toilet paper when you only need 1 large pack to give you enough plus a little extra.  The pandemic is real, but remember satan is the father of confusion.
  2. Spend time in prayer.  I frequently have a verbal conversation with God…He is my Friend.  But I also need some real time in prayer.  More prayer than just God is great, God is good….  Start out small if you need to do so and then build up that time of sweet communion.
  3. Read the Word.  God inspired those words for a purpose.  There are many uplifting scriptures in there. And sing, sing SING!  Praises are sweet.  I have been in the very pit of despair.  Starting with a melancholy warbling of woe is me, I soon progressed to a shout of glory.  Try it sometime.
  4. Understand there will be good days and bad days.  Our response makes a difference. Dwell on those things that are pure.  Focus on positives even in a day of difficulty.  Smile, even if only the cardinal can see that smile.

Okay, there is more I can say and probably will at another time. For now, just know that we are in this battle to win.

By the way, speaking of time, did you know that a horologist studies time and the making of clocks?  Just sayin.

Just a Drop of Water

Posted on by 2000nana

 

blade of grass blur bright close up
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It is rare I actually feel thirst.  Somewhere back in the day of chubby toddler legs and neck rolls, I misidentified the feeling of thirst for something else.  Cookies maybe?  Preferably homemade chocolate chip using the recipe on the back of the chocolate chip bag.  And since I have difficulty identifying thirst it is hard for me to understand the concept of being so thirsty you would do just about anything to get a drink of water. I can identify wanting a soda badly even though I have not had soda in 15 or more years. But that isn’t necessarily thirst as much as it is the cold taste of a soda.  But thirsty for a drink of water is something difficult for me to understand.

Recently hubs and I shared a week of the flu.  You can blame me for that if you like.  Certainly I showed symptoms first.  Fatigue, headache, earache, fever, chills…you get the picture.  Within a day, hubs showed signs he had jumped on board with me.  Now I know what I needed to do was get plenty of rest and drink lots of fluids.  So I made sure I drank a few glasses of water.  I rested because I couldn’t do anything else.  Then one morning hubs woke me up with the request to be taken to the hospital.  Off we go to the local hospital where they ran many tests and determined he had flu A.  I’m convinced that corona virus in the news caused the doctors and ER staff to look even more thoroughly than they normally would.

Sitting there in ER, I developed a ravenous thirst for some water.  My tongue started cleaving to my mouth, and sometimes my lips stuck together when I tried to talk.  Feeling positive we would be discharged any minute, I waited to do anything about it.  Finally we were on our way.  I decided to take hubby home first so he could get settled and then return to the local pharmacy to get his prescription filled.  All the while I was getting thirstier and thirstier.  Not a single bottle of water was in that truck.  Fast forward, the prescription is ready, and a grab a bottle of water and head to the checkout.  Trying to smile and wait patiently for my turn, I noticed a lady come up behind me with a few items, less than the few items I had.  Normally I would have let her go ahead, but nope-not today.  The prescription and other few items could wait for kindness, but I needed the water NOW.  Avoiding eye contact it was finally my turn.

Scurrying out the door and into the truck, I grabbed the water from the bag and opened it.  Well I TRIED to open it.  It wouldn’t open.  I was too weak.  I twisted that bottle cap for all I was worth and it didn’t budge.  Starting the engine, I slowly left my parking space searching the parking lot for anyone who could open my bottle of water.  No one was around, which in retrospect is probably a good thing.  Halfway home a light bulb shone brightly above my head.  Pulling off to the side of the road, I grabbed the bottle of water again.  I don’t have fancy nails, but my thumbnails are always strong.  Carefully I pushed through each connection holding the cap in place. Success!  I am all but dancing in my seat as I turn the cap again.  Nothing happens.  NOTHING HAPPENS!!  Life isn’t fair.  I am not asking for much here.  I just want a drink of water for this incredible thirst.

Trying not to shed tears of frustration because I needed to keep each drop I had in me, I continued home.  Finally arriving home (all of a 15 minute or less drive mind you) I hurried into the house, grabbed a table knife and gave the cap a couple of whacks.  With my hardest oomph, I twisted and after a moment of hesitation, the cap moved.  Nothing has ever tasted as sweet as that water.  Iced tea, lemonade, soda and juice just are not as satisfying when your body is craving water.

What a wonderful lesson God taught me that day.  I am so thankful for the thirst so deep that only a cup of water can satisfy.  I better understand the need of people walking two miles to be able to fill their small container with clean water.  I understand the need of some who help provide that water.  But it goes much deeper than that. The water was in front of me.  I could touch the container.  I could see the water. But it had to be opened to me, and I had to reach out and grasp it. Until I drank from that water I remained thirsty.   Jesus promised the woman of Samaria living water so complete and refreshing that she would never thirst again.  She would not feel that deep heart wrenching void that only living water would quench.  She reached out and accepted that living water.

Sometimes we misidentify the void we feel as hunger for things the world has to offer.  Or we decide to wait for a better time.  Please read John 4 and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you to the living water.  The time is now.

silhouette and grayscale photography of man standing under the rain
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Tempest in a Teacup

Posted on by 2000nana

Today I am agitated.  I’m frustrated.  I feel like I am either about to have a mini nervous breakdown or…or…or SOMETHING!  No, nothing is wrong.  Or maybe everything is wrong.  It is a little like I see a big wave about to crash down on me and I don’t know how to keep it from happening. The storm is building up inside and I’m not sure what to do.  I have cried and prayed.  I have searched for that one scripture that would help but I just couldn’t find the words.  Perhaps you have felt like that before.

A few minutes ago I read a Facebook post by Ivy Cleveland.  (If you have never had the blessing of meeting Ivy, check out her website:  www.sheisministries.org  Click on her bio, watch her videos and check out her book SHE IS.  I even named my Keurig Ivy in her honor.) She is a public figure, and she and her family are really going through a trying time.  I’m not going to tell you about her Facebook post because you can check that out.  And my little issues are nothing compared to her story.  But let me tell you that her scripture reference used in her post is just what I needed to read.

Mark 4:38 Jesus had been teaching by the sea and when the evening had come he and the disciples got on a ship and were passing to the other side. A huge storm came up with wind and waves beating on the little ship.  Mark tells us, “And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow, and the awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish?”

That’s it!  That is what I was feeling…like I was on a tiny ship being whipped about by the wind and the waves, and didn’t anybody care?  I needed to hear Jesus say to my soul, “Peace, be still.”

If Jesus can speak and still the storm- and He can, then He can certainly calm my little tempest in a teacup.  I am a blessed woman. The blessings are not earned or deserved, but given by God just because He loves me.  Time for me to count it all joy, and then move on to Philippians 4:8 where Paul says “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any praise, think on these things. Hmmm. Already I am feeling better.

blur cup drink hot
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Remember Me

Posted on by 2000nana

It is a Sunday afternoon and all the dishes are cleaned up from dinner.  Rusty, our Golden, convinced me I should put on a Christmas movie that just happened to have golden retrievers as very important characters. I turned on the tv and the current channel had a police show.  In the few moments it took me to switch to dvr, I heard the police officer trying to locate her family say, “We don’t know how she lived.  All we know is that she died.”

I switched to the movie, but my thoughts were far from the adorable golden puppies.  How sad to think that no one seemed to know how this woman lived!  They only knew she died.  When I die, how will people remember me?  Will my neighbors say they knew I lived in the house down the road, the one with the handsome Rusty, but didn’t know how I lived?  Whether we like it or not, our life impacts those around us regardless of whether we are surrounded by friends and family or complete strangers.  For that matter, we may never see the one who sees how we are living…the person looking out their window or the next aisle over in the grocery store.

Matthew 5:16 tells us to let our light so shine before men that they may see our good works and glorify our Father which is in heaven.  We are His creation, and surrendering to Him gives us so much freedom.  Our faith grows weak without our works in Jesus name, but strong when we do good works in His name.  If we truly love God, we will choose to do His will because of that love. Our light will shine and reach out to others.  If we don’t let that light shine, that will reach out too in a negative way.

As a child, my favorite song was This Little Light of Mine, I’m Gonna Let it Shine.  When I am gone, I don’t need people to remember my name.  They don’t need to remember where I lived.  But I hope they remember there was a lady who smiled at them in the grocery store.  I hope they remember there was someone who cared enough to say hello and ask how they were doing.  I hope they remember hearing someone softly singing praises when they walked by.  And I hope they remember I could find joy even in hard times. Good works might be big, or they might be small. Regardless, if these works are because of our faith and love for Jesus, they will shine and touch someone.

I pray God will help me always live for Him, and let my light burn brightly.  I want to let my works reflect the great love the Father has for us.  Don’t remember me for who I am, or even what I accomplished.   Remember instead how I lived my life for Jesus and let His light shine through me.

When is Convenience too Convenient?

Posted on by 2000nana

or…Being a good steward of convenience.

sliced watermelon on plate

Do you put salt on your watermelon?  That is the Facebook post that got me started with some deep thinking this morning.  I commented that I hadn’t had watermelon with salt, but if someone would give me some watermelon I would be happy to test and find out.  Of course that led to a friend comment about watermelon in her fridge, that led to me saying there was no room in my fridge for watermelon until I cleaned it out.  I wasn’t being cute.  The pain is real.

I have put off cleaning the fridge for days. That is bad on so many levels.  Seriously. Then I tried baby steps by cleaning out the door shelves.  Then we get to the watermelon.

woman opening refrigerator
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Shame, guilt and reality pounded me on the shoulder until I grudgingly got up and headed to the kitchen. Carefully opening the fridge door, I peered inside and quickly shut the door.  Some things are just to horrorfying to describe- so I won’t. I opened the door again and could not believe my eyes.  Dear Hubby had put a jar of salsa on one of my nice clean door compartments HORIZONTALLY!  The nerve.  Grabbing a paper towel I scrubbed the huge  tiny spot clean.  Feeling pretty good about my efforts, I looked at the top shelf of the fridge.  Certainly I could handle one shelf before taking a break. Reaching in, I grabbed the butter and placed it in one of the door compartments.  The shelf looked better already.

Admittedly I am easily distracted.  I prefer to say that my mind juggles many spinning plates at one time. I started thinking about how much easier it was to clean our very first refrigerator.  No, it was not frost free.  But having to defrost it meant you pretty much cleaned it regularly. No, it was not huge.  Maybe, just maybe it was 15 cubic feet, compared to the 20+ I have now.  But there was not nearly as much to clean.  Maybe my convenience is really costing me time, money (from all that spoiled “stuff”, and pleasure (watermelon).

At this point the shame and guilt stopped pounding on my shoulder and God started tapping on my heart.  He does that often and for many different reasons.  If you have read my blog posts before you already know how this goes:  Me:  Hey God. You want something?. God:  So how are you enjoying cleaning out your fridge.  Me: I suppose this is where You remind me to do all things willing, happily as if I am doing it for You? (huff)  God: Maybe, but I did tell you to be a good steward.  Me: So you mean I should give You a tenth of all this stuff?  Seriously God I’m just kidding because I know You have a sense of humor.  God:  Some things are not funny.  I’m sure you are not feeling so good about all that spoiled food right now.  Me: (hanging head) I know, right?  We must have wasted a ton of money, not counting the electric to keep the spoiled food…er…fresh.  Hey!  What are You trying to tell me here?

Notice a trend here.  God has the answers and I have the questions. But God has a point, as He always does.  It is convenient to fill my fridge with food. It is convenient to put off cleaning the fridge. It is convenient to forget that all we have is God’s and not ours.  I have wasted God’s resources.  The food, or the money spent buying it or replacing it can be used more wisely.  Abundance can be shared.  The time I spend can be better used when I can complete a job quickly. I need to be a better steward in all of the blessings God gives me.  Even the fridge.

Excuse me.  I need go finish cleaning the fridge.  And I think I hear God saying, “Finally.  You got it!  And when you are finished, why don’t you try to decided if you like your watermelon plain or with salt.

Life Love Cancer Repeat

Posted on by 2000nana

Today I am sharing the beginning of an adventure. I hope you will take the time to read.  This is written by my nephew, Larry.  Some of you have prayed for him in the past.  I thought you might like an update.

life love cancer repeat 

Hi my name is Larry and I have cancer. I know sounds like I am a recovering alcoholic ,but believe it or not I am not. Just like any other person going through life changes I get scared and sad depressed and lonely. Those who know me might be surprised that I have fallen to self pity and anger thinking what did I ever do to in life to end up with not one cancer diagnosis but two. The first diagnosis was roughly three years ago . In December 2015 after feeling completely worn out was sent to the emergency room , were my wife and I got the bone chilling news that I had leukemia but did not know to what degree or the progression. The next week was nerve racking and full of denial for me. When Gail “ my wife” and I meet with my oncologist in…

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Purple Shoes

Posted on by 2000nana

Have you ever heard yourself complain about some really small stuff? Even if it is only complaining to ourselves, complaining is complaining and shouldn’t be indulged in often.  God has certainly blessed me above measure, but sometimes a complaint will slip by.  My complaints are generally about me-to me.  “One time, just one time I would like to put a dress on that fits just the way it is!”  “Look at all the mess I made.  I will never get caught up.  Why can’t I keep things straight?”

Recently I had to buy a new pair of shoes.  My shoes are expensive because they must have maximum support in a wide size.  I DO NOT LIKE BUYING SHOES.  I would rather buy quilt fabric.  Now that is money well spent.  But shoes I must have. Hub needed some too, so off to the shoe store we went. We shopped in shifts since we had our golden retriever Rusty with us and it was just warm enough we didn’t want to leave him in the truck alone without the windows open.  First Hub got his shoes, and then I went in to get mine.  I knew right what I needed so there was no need to try on shoes.  A few years ago I had to switch to velcro due to the pain in my knees and feet.  My options were one style in three colors: white, tan or black.

Getting out of the truck and walking into the store, I complained to myself, “I wish whoever designed shoes would understand that people like me would like to see pretty shoes too!” I gave the shoe number to the sales clerk  and commented that it would be nice if shoes for people like me could come in purple.  She said they had shoes for me in purple, but they were running shoes not walking shoes, and they didn’t come with velcro.

I had a true lightbulb moment.  I don’t really need velcro anymore now that my pain is more manageable.  Thank you God for caring about even the silly desires of our heart.  Same basic shoe, same basic price, same support.

Bring on the purple shoes.